22.1.13
A Medley of Fried Stuff
it's been a long time
so here's a recipe
shallow fry separately in olive oil
sliced red potatoes
pieces of salmon
and mussels
spiral out from the middle of an aesthetically pleasing plate
in any order you deem presentable
the fried ingredients
and alternate with sliced raw avocado
then sprinkle with lemon juice
till you feel that nothing could be better with the universe
garnish with a mint sprig
sunflower seeds
small dollops of good proper mayonnaise
chilli jam
and sorrel
then destroy it under your molars
digest and let that fucking tastiness override your every unconscious thought
wantonly devouring and destroying it will lead to a cathartic state of abandon and purity
it will lead you to reflect upon the transitory nature of material life
the world's impermanence and its absurd futility
so here's a recipe
shallow fry separately in olive oil
sliced red potatoes
pieces of salmon
and mussels
spiral out from the middle of an aesthetically pleasing plate
in any order you deem presentable
the fried ingredients
and alternate with sliced raw avocado
then sprinkle with lemon juice
till you feel that nothing could be better with the universe
garnish with a mint sprig
sunflower seeds
small dollops of good proper mayonnaise
chilli jam
and sorrel
then destroy it under your molars
digest and let that fucking tastiness override your every unconscious thought
wantonly devouring and destroying it will lead to a cathartic state of abandon and purity
it will lead you to reflect upon the transitory nature of material life
the world's impermanence and its absurd futility
20.8.11
jentaculum
that is the word for breakfast
in roman
like in roman times
with gladiators and aqueducts
i' ve been reading about roman cuisine
on the internet
and elsewhere in books
made out of paper
roman cuisine has a lot of charm to it
i see roman culture as the first serious attempt in civilisation to live lavishly and in luxury
and not only the people on top do this but also those in inferior social strata
except the slaves
they get porridge and sewer-rats
if they are lucky
anyway i stumbled upon a description of a meal eaten for breakfast
cooked it up
and it was colossal
let's call it
fried pancake with honey and dates
also the wheat i used was refined white flour
two millennia ago they would have used something like wholemeal flour
but if for bacchus's sake we imagine that
i ordered my least favorite dark-skinned houseboy to pick out all the fiber-y bits and ground husks from the flour
by hand
in roman
like in roman times
with gladiators and aqueducts
or rather latin
i should say
i' ve been reading about roman cuisine
on the internet
and elsewhere in books
made out of paper
roman cuisine has a lot of charm to it
i see roman culture as the first serious attempt in civilisation to live lavishly and in luxury
and not only the people on top do this but also those in inferior social strata
except the slaves
they get porridge and sewer-rats
if they are lucky
anyway i stumbled upon a description of a meal eaten for breakfast
cooked it up
and it was colossal
crafty use of word intended
let's call it
fried pancake with honey and dates
or google translate it to
cum melle et frixam subcinericius tempora
which doesn't sound right
but what do i know?
authenticity had to be sacrificed
as i did not have anyone to slave at my bidding
i had to prepare and toil to cook up my own breakfast
then i had to clean up afterwards
with my hands
like a lowly serf
a self-serf
tragedy!
also the wheat i used was refined white flour
two millennia ago they would have used something like wholemeal flour
but if for bacchus's sake we imagine that
i ordered my least favorite dark-skinned houseboy to pick out all the fiber-y bits and ground husks from the flour
by hand
with two bits of sticks
for hygiene
we'd be back on track with history
got some flour and
added water and pounding
added water and pounding
till a thin dough disc magically appeared
i heated some olive oil in a pan
browned the monster on both sides
drizzled a few teaspoons of honey on top
a sprinkle of chopped dates
garnished with glass of milk
and feasted like a roman domus' pater familia on sunday morning
the photos don't do justice to how tasty this this
the dough fried in olive oil really brings out the sweetness from the honey and dates
the romans didn't have frosties and pop tarts
the rest of the day would then be spent fucking and watching people kill each other
also from google translate:
vale!
14.8.11
not for the faint of heart!
i wake up this morning from twelve hours of sleep
however still knackered
yesterday after a pizza marinara at cross keys in mellieha and after rewatching Hot Fuzz
you know
because of the recent london riots
and because of a minor internet meme claiming that simon pegg's character's transfer from london to the countryside was one of the reasons behind the ineffective policing...
anyway it is 22:30 on a saturday and i go to sleep
calling it a night this early
is partly because of eating the whole pizza
and it's partly what i did before that
in the morning i bought long fins for free diving later that afternoon
that afternoon:
snorkeling for about three hours
half of the time with a friend's harpoon and chasing a big fish
under a big rock - unsuccessfully
wasting my breath and my energy
later catching an octopus
which is not bad for my first time
but i shoot it three times
first time it runs away
second i miss
third time success but the octopus crawls up the harpoon to my hand and scares the shit out of me
i get it to shore...
not bad for my first time
i leave the octopus with my friend and go get that pizza
anyway this morning i eat toast and a red bull for my late 11 am breakfast
this makes me feel kind of ok but still a bit recovering
i digress
it's not the forgone octopus
not the cross keys pizza
not the red bull breakfast
it's the meal i cook for my late 3 o'clock lunch which i want to talk to you about:
heart of lamb
i've recently acquired a new camera
and i am freshly trigger happy
so i've accompanied the following recipe with visual aids
however still knackered
yesterday after a pizza marinara at cross keys in mellieha and after rewatching Hot Fuzz
you know
because of the recent london riots
and because of a minor internet meme claiming that simon pegg's character's transfer from london to the countryside was one of the reasons behind the ineffective policing...
anyway it is 22:30 on a saturday and i go to sleep
calling it a night this early
is partly because of eating the whole pizza
and it's partly what i did before that
in the morning i bought long fins for free diving later that afternoon
that afternoon:
snorkeling for about three hours
half of the time with a friend's harpoon and chasing a big fish
under a big rock - unsuccessfully
wasting my breath and my energy
later catching an octopus
which is not bad for my first time
but i shoot it three times
first time it runs away
second i miss
third time success but the octopus crawls up the harpoon to my hand and scares the shit out of me
i get it to shore...
not bad for my first time
i leave the octopus with my friend and go get that pizza
anyway this morning i eat toast and a red bull for my late 11 am breakfast
this makes me feel kind of ok but still a bit recovering
i digress
it's not the forgone octopus
not the cross keys pizza
not the red bull breakfast
it's the meal i cook for my late 3 o'clock lunch which i want to talk to you about:
heart of lamb
i've recently acquired a new camera
and i am freshly trigger happy
so i've accompanied the following recipe with visual aids
i seasoned the heart with salt and pepper
then sliced it
then golden browned some garlic
then those heart slices too
i briefly fried some pumpkin
and added a cup of nero d'avola or two
and added a cup of nero d'avola or two
then covered
i pestled some parsley, dried chick peas, raw garlic, pepper, and some hard amsterdammer cheese i had in the fridge
when the pumpkin got tender i removed it and dusted it with the previous grind
i simmered the heart
in more wine and covered till it tendered and reduced
the more this is done the softer it gets
the heart of a full grown sheep can remain chewy since it has gone through lots of beats
it would be best to get a young lamb's
and in the end
i added some fresh sage and cooked for another minute
in more wine and covered till it tendered and reduced
the more this is done the softer it gets
the heart of a full grown sheep can remain chewy since it has gone through lots of beats
it would be best to get a young lamb's
and in the end
i added some fresh sage and cooked for another minute
done
as i digest
i listen to some Yelle
i don't usually enjoy listening to contemporary pop music
but i'm a sucker for women singing in french
what i have learned today is that a heart of lamb makes red bull feel like sugar pills
and now i am finally energised
as i digest
i listen to some Yelle
i don't usually enjoy listening to contemporary pop music
but i'm a sucker for women singing in french
what i have learned today is that a heart of lamb makes red bull feel like sugar pills
and now i am finally energised
16.6.11
SANDRO TAL-FAKIN HOT-DOGS!!!
holy fuckin' moly
i went to bahar ic-caghaq
to swim a couple of laps over a nice turquoise stretch in a shallow bay
i' m sure you know the part
right behind the water park
a turn around from the ice-cream kiosk
after the paddle i put myself in ignore-the-ice-cream-cravings mode
and drove myself out to the coast road
just before that however
on the side i saw a familiar image i had been deprived of for ages
a man wearing shades despite it being seven in the evening
tinkering over a shiny steel grill
the hot dog stand of hot-dog stands
when i digested this mental information
i paused at the crossroads for an awkward 30 seconds
luckily no cars were queuing behind me
so i decisively reversed to an open space immediately adjacent to his stand
him
sandro
the man
the legend
some years had passed and they showed a little on him
the hot dog stand was the same
the condiments increased in number but my favorite
the lea & perkins chilly sauce was nowhere to be seen
a little disappointed but extremely happy nonetheless
i asked him to make me one
and progressed to chat away
i asked him about the university days
and if he still rolled his mobile business there
he told me about how when papillon left their undeserved canteen operation, the new guys who have food selling rights in the canteen and on the surrounding premises didn't want him setting up anymore
no way, no how
he took a four year break apparently and
he now sells hot-dogs in bahar ic-caghaq on thursdays and sundays
the hot-dog is not as excellent as what it was back in the old days
maybe he has lost his touch
maybe he is out of practice
maybe it is the creative process of memory that fucks things up in the ever present
maybe the hot dog is still good and it is the salty water in my mouth that fucked things up
to those that remember
sandro had the best hot-dogs
and this was the best food for a while on campus
on those breakfast-less early mornings
when you've just learned that the lecturer didn't show up or something
when not even a coffee could sooth the cold lifeless 8am to 9am
sandro's hotdog could
when you ate something foul tasting from the canteen
sandro's hot-dog was there to bring your taste-buds back to their senses
when university's stress ate through your heart
you ate through sandro's fucking hot-dog to make yourself whole again
if you were broke
out on your last singular lira from that month's measly stipend
sandro's hot-dog
if you had a free lesson
sandro's hot-dog
if you had a double-lesson
sandro's hot-dog
if you didn't feel like a lecture
sandro's hot-dog
if you wanted to celebrate a B plus grade that just came out
sandro's hot-dog
if you were disappointed at getting a C when you worked your ass off in the assignment and sucked up to the lecturer all fucking semester and did exceptionally well in those despicable tutorials
then confronted the bitch by email and was left with a reply to the tune of "C is not such a bad mark anyway!"
sandro's fucking hot-dog
sometimes after you ate sandro's hot-dog
you'd go for another sandro's hot-dog
cos that's how shit should roll
cos that is only when you know that there's something fucking right and consistent in this cold soulless universe
sandro's fucking hot-dog
that soft steamed bun
that grilled factory-formed sausage
those fried onions
that sweet-salty, jackson pollock tribute on the top
i remember my freshers week hazily
i didn't even apply for any of the credits i needed that semester
before i had decided what career path i was going to embark on
i had already eaten five of those hot-dogs
then i chose communications
ha ha
joke's on me
before i knew what major i was going for
i had majored in sandro's hot-dogs
wait a moment
...i just realised that this doesn't really add up
because i think i was still vegan back there in time
not sure what is right
but in any case i prefer these new hot-dog infused memories
where was i?
at the end of those dopey two weeks
me and two friends
let's call them arnold and daniel
came up with a startling discovery
with the help of daniel who was in second year by then
we came upon the inevitable conclusion that sandro and roza
the stipend lady
where one and the same
daniel had introduced me to the wonders of sandro's hot-dogs
he was lost in a trance like state smelling away at a freshly bought hot-dog
telling me how good it was
losing himself over to his senses
making verbal love to the damn thing
mouthing the phrase
"sandro's hot-dog"
over and over in zombie like fashion
and that's when i stepped in and bitch-slapped him straight and ordered him to get a hold of himself
loudly
in front of his friends
he still promises me that he will have his revenge one day
for the public humiliation i caused him
one day when i least expect it
out of the darkness daniel will pop out and be the cause of terrible embarrassment
back to the sandro and roza intrigue
the rationale was solid
nobody
to our knowledge
had ever seen the two people at the same time
in fact sandro always was in operation when roza's office was closed and vice-versa
i swear on my life that this is true
we asked around and nobody had seen them together....
e v e r
this evidence is further strengthened when one considers roza's affection to the campus cats
and sandro's tasty sausages
it was the perfect setup
you see
as roza would groom the cats
fatten them
let them crawl all over her office desk
then
when student hours are over she would lock the door
strike the poor tabby over the head with an arch lever file
loaded with student info sheets
transform into sandro
throw dead moggy into a freezer and go sell fresh hot-dogs
made from processed cat meat the night before
calling his business
"sandro's hot-dogs" was the perfect disguise
as "sandro's hot-pussy" might have raised a few eyebrows and blow his cover
the sandroza conspiracy
i wanted to propose this as a thesis subject towards the end of my course...
never did
and still regret it
the following year i went to japan
during that time there
i searched high and low
but no hot-dog could compare
the japanese are good at making raw fish
and they make a mean bowl of rice
they're good at being polite and friendly
and at making tentacle porn
but they can't make a good hot-dog
even more so
the worst hot-dog i ever had was in japan
one time in japan i had a dream that i was tasting a hot-dog better than sandro's
but then all of existence collapsed on itself
and ceased
i awoke in a panicky sweat
pedaled to the nearest seven-eleven and fed the inner hot-dog-craving demons the most expensive, and hence the best tasting, obento box
sandro with his calm hard working ways
is the zen master of wieners in a bun
there where bread and sausage meet
lies sandro's art
from grilling and steaming
sprouts his enlightenment
sandro is back
look for him
he is out there
his hot-dogs await
i went to bahar ic-caghaq
to swim a couple of laps over a nice turquoise stretch in a shallow bay
i' m sure you know the part
right behind the water park
a turn around from the ice-cream kiosk
after the paddle i put myself in ignore-the-ice-cream-cravings mode
and drove myself out to the coast road
just before that however
on the side i saw a familiar image i had been deprived of for ages
a man wearing shades despite it being seven in the evening
tinkering over a shiny steel grill
the hot dog stand of hot-dog stands
when i digested this mental information
i paused at the crossroads for an awkward 30 seconds
luckily no cars were queuing behind me
so i decisively reversed to an open space immediately adjacent to his stand
him
sandro
the man
the legend
some years had passed and they showed a little on him
the hot dog stand was the same
the condiments increased in number but my favorite
the lea & perkins chilly sauce was nowhere to be seen
a little disappointed but extremely happy nonetheless
i asked him to make me one
and progressed to chat away
i asked him about the university days
and if he still rolled his mobile business there
he told me about how when papillon left their undeserved canteen operation, the new guys who have food selling rights in the canteen and on the surrounding premises didn't want him setting up anymore
no way, no how
he took a four year break apparently and
he now sells hot-dogs in bahar ic-caghaq on thursdays and sundays
the hot-dog is not as excellent as what it was back in the old days
maybe he has lost his touch
maybe he is out of practice
maybe it is the creative process of memory that fucks things up in the ever present
maybe the hot dog is still good and it is the salty water in my mouth that fucked things up
to those that remember
sandro had the best hot-dogs
and this was the best food for a while on campus
on those breakfast-less early mornings
when you've just learned that the lecturer didn't show up or something
when not even a coffee could sooth the cold lifeless 8am to 9am
sandro's hotdog could
when you ate something foul tasting from the canteen
sandro's hot-dog was there to bring your taste-buds back to their senses
when university's stress ate through your heart
you ate through sandro's fucking hot-dog to make yourself whole again
if you were broke
out on your last singular lira from that month's measly stipend
sandro's hot-dog
if you had a free lesson
sandro's hot-dog
if you had a double-lesson
sandro's hot-dog
if you didn't feel like a lecture
sandro's hot-dog
if you wanted to celebrate a B plus grade that just came out
sandro's hot-dog
if you were disappointed at getting a C when you worked your ass off in the assignment and sucked up to the lecturer all fucking semester and did exceptionally well in those despicable tutorials
then confronted the bitch by email and was left with a reply to the tune of "C is not such a bad mark anyway!"
sandro's fucking hot-dog
sometimes after you ate sandro's hot-dog
you'd go for another sandro's hot-dog
cos that's how shit should roll
cos that is only when you know that there's something fucking right and consistent in this cold soulless universe
sandro's fucking hot-dog
that soft steamed bun
that grilled factory-formed sausage
those fried onions
that sweet-salty, jackson pollock tribute on the top
i remember my freshers week hazily
i didn't even apply for any of the credits i needed that semester
before i had decided what career path i was going to embark on
i had already eaten five of those hot-dogs
then i chose communications
ha ha
joke's on me
before i knew what major i was going for
i had majored in sandro's hot-dogs
wait a moment
...i just realised that this doesn't really add up
because i think i was still vegan back there in time
not sure what is right
but in any case i prefer these new hot-dog infused memories
where was i?
at the end of those dopey two weeks
me and two friends
let's call them arnold and daniel
came up with a startling discovery
with the help of daniel who was in second year by then
we came upon the inevitable conclusion that sandro and roza
the stipend lady
where one and the same
daniel had introduced me to the wonders of sandro's hot-dogs
he was lost in a trance like state smelling away at a freshly bought hot-dog
telling me how good it was
losing himself over to his senses
making verbal love to the damn thing
mouthing the phrase
"sandro's hot-dog"
over and over in zombie like fashion
and that's when i stepped in and bitch-slapped him straight and ordered him to get a hold of himself
loudly
in front of his friends
he still promises me that he will have his revenge one day
for the public humiliation i caused him
one day when i least expect it
out of the darkness daniel will pop out and be the cause of terrible embarrassment
back to the sandro and roza intrigue
the rationale was solid
nobody
to our knowledge
had ever seen the two people at the same time
in fact sandro always was in operation when roza's office was closed and vice-versa
i swear on my life that this is true
we asked around and nobody had seen them together....
e v e r
this evidence is further strengthened when one considers roza's affection to the campus cats
and sandro's tasty sausages
it was the perfect setup
you see
as roza would groom the cats
fatten them
let them crawl all over her office desk
then
when student hours are over she would lock the door
strike the poor tabby over the head with an arch lever file
loaded with student info sheets
transform into sandro
throw dead moggy into a freezer and go sell fresh hot-dogs
made from processed cat meat the night before
calling his business
"sandro's hot-dogs" was the perfect disguise
as "sandro's hot-pussy" might have raised a few eyebrows and blow his cover
the sandroza conspiracy
i wanted to propose this as a thesis subject towards the end of my course...
never did
and still regret it
the following year i went to japan
during that time there
i searched high and low
but no hot-dog could compare
the japanese are good at making raw fish
and they make a mean bowl of rice
they're good at being polite and friendly
and at making tentacle porn
but they can't make a good hot-dog
even more so
the worst hot-dog i ever had was in japan
one time in japan i had a dream that i was tasting a hot-dog better than sandro's
but then all of existence collapsed on itself
and ceased
i awoke in a panicky sweat
pedaled to the nearest seven-eleven and fed the inner hot-dog-craving demons the most expensive, and hence the best tasting, obento box
sandro with his calm hard working ways
is the zen master of wieners in a bun
there where bread and sausage meet
lies sandro's art
from grilling and steaming
sprouts his enlightenment
sandro is back
look for him
he is out there
his hot-dogs await
25.5.11
sheep's bollock: part deux
and the verdict is:
*drumroll*
rumble rumble
rumble
.
.
.
.
meh!
it was ok
texture was very light and the tissue tears easily under your gnashers
it was not disgusting at all
except for the last bites
i think a whole testicle is a lot for one person
it should be shared among a group
a few slices each
as part of a bigger meal
not that it gets worse the more that you eat of it
but its just that i get put off larger quantities of certain foods
for example, i love sashimi
and i love oysters
but i wont eat a dozen pieces
more than four is an overload
same goes for this
the taste is a little bland and not very exceptional
of course my recipe could be improved
but in of itself
a sheep's bollock
has little to contribute to the spectrum of tastes
the texture is what makes it
if anything
i m not saying that it doesn't taste of anything
it does impart on the sense
a generic meat flavor like chicken breast
but then mildly nutty
that was monday night after i wrote part one
tuesday night i bought and fried myself a french 500g t-bone beef steak
it helped wash the ghost psychological taste of bollocks
from my being
and so i leave you with this little gem of foodie wisdom:
t-bone is better than testicle!
*drumroll*
rumble rumble
rumble
.
.
.
.
meh!
it was ok
texture was very light and the tissue tears easily under your gnashers
it was not disgusting at all
except for the last bites
i think a whole testicle is a lot for one person
it should be shared among a group
a few slices each
as part of a bigger meal
not that it gets worse the more that you eat of it
but its just that i get put off larger quantities of certain foods
for example, i love sashimi
and i love oysters
but i wont eat a dozen pieces
more than four is an overload
same goes for this
the taste is a little bland and not very exceptional
of course my recipe could be improved
but in of itself
a sheep's bollock
has little to contribute to the spectrum of tastes
the texture is what makes it
if anything
i m not saying that it doesn't taste of anything
it does impart on the sense
a generic meat flavor like chicken breast
but then mildly nutty
that was monday night after i wrote part one
tuesday night i bought and fried myself a french 500g t-bone beef steak
it helped wash the ghost psychological taste of bollocks
from my being
and so i leave you with this little gem of foodie wisdom:
t-bone is better than testicle!
23.5.11
a meat called sweet; put to the test: part one
today i purchased my most daring ingredient yet
so daring that i am not yet sure if i have the balls to go through with the undertaking
i've wanted to try this for a while
in barcelona
i had briefly toyed with the idea
the opportunity did not present itself and i did not pursue it further than it needed
mostly because i chickened out
heavily discouraged by the inescapable but considerable dash of instinctive disgust
today while buying lamb back strap and some cans of baba ganoush from the syrian butcher in san gwann
opportunity rang my doorbell
i recently embarked on a long time coming low-carb diet
i needed to stock up on protein foods
what i ended up buying is probably very protein rich
i wondered what else to buy so i inquired further as to the syrian's wares
i pointed to a bag at the back of the display counter
and asked what was in it
he laughed...
circumstance made itself present
was i to grab destiny by its stones?
or should i cower forever?
promise myself a lie disguised as postponement?
...
anything this butcher has recommended
i have gone back for more
first it was the back cut of lamb
a loin perfect for grilling and barbecuing
a princely cut among the red meats
then it was the heart of lamb
simple to cook and ranks only second to certain animal livers among offal
and lastly his homemade lamb meat casseroles and falafel mixes: spot on
i manned up
put my life in his hands
(hands soaked in the bloods he cleaved from many a halal-slaughtered animal)
-give me just one of them
i decided
he reassured me that it was good and easy to prepare
- fry it up with an onion!
he suggested
back home
before i tossed it in the fridge
i feared the smells of freshly milked ejaculate or worse
a sweaty crotch
there was only one way to know better
i sheepishly convinced myself that i should get testy
i opened the clear plastic bag
and sniffed at the sheep's testis...
...luckily i was wrong
the smell was not unpleasant
it was much like the smell of turkey ham or ricotta
you can make out something fresh and cold but nothing foul or distinguishable in the least
please stay tuned for part two
were i cook and eat the lamb gonad and describe it to you
tomorrow that testicle is gonna brown in hot butter and garlic!!
(and most probably then simmer in a reduction of cranberry juice, bardolino)
till tomorrow!
so daring that i am not yet sure if i have the balls to go through with the undertaking
i've wanted to try this for a while
in barcelona
i had briefly toyed with the idea
the opportunity did not present itself and i did not pursue it further than it needed
mostly because i chickened out
heavily discouraged by the inescapable but considerable dash of instinctive disgust
today while buying lamb back strap and some cans of baba ganoush from the syrian butcher in san gwann
opportunity rang my doorbell
i recently embarked on a long time coming low-carb diet
i needed to stock up on protein foods
what i ended up buying is probably very protein rich
i wondered what else to buy so i inquired further as to the syrian's wares
i pointed to a bag at the back of the display counter
and asked what was in it
he laughed...
circumstance made itself present
was i to grab destiny by its stones?
or should i cower forever?
promise myself a lie disguised as postponement?
...
anything this butcher has recommended
i have gone back for more
first it was the back cut of lamb
a loin perfect for grilling and barbecuing
a princely cut among the red meats
then it was the heart of lamb
simple to cook and ranks only second to certain animal livers among offal
and lastly his homemade lamb meat casseroles and falafel mixes: spot on
i manned up
put my life in his hands
(hands soaked in the bloods he cleaved from many a halal-slaughtered animal)
-give me just one of them
i decided
he reassured me that it was good and easy to prepare
- fry it up with an onion!
he suggested
back home
before i tossed it in the fridge
i feared the smells of freshly milked ejaculate or worse
a sweaty crotch
there was only one way to know better
i sheepishly convinced myself that i should get testy
i opened the clear plastic bag
and sniffed at the sheep's testis...
...luckily i was wrong
the smell was not unpleasant
it was much like the smell of turkey ham or ricotta
you can make out something fresh and cold but nothing foul or distinguishable in the least
please stay tuned for part two
were i cook and eat the lamb gonad and describe it to you
tomorrow that testicle is gonna brown in hot butter and garlic!!
(and most probably then simmer in a reduction of cranberry juice, bardolino)
till tomorrow!
22.7.10
Closed Mussels
you have been throwing them away haven't you
cos they didn't open properly
i've long doubted this claim
of not eating closed mussels
from a plate of cooked ones
and i've long been eating closed mussels
from a plate of cooked ones
after forcing them open with a knife
and never died or had food poisoning
and they always tasted the same as the others
basically we've been wasting a lot of tasty harmless black mussels because...
you'll get to know when you read -={this}=-
cos they didn't open properly
i've long doubted this claim
of not eating closed mussels
from a plate of cooked ones
and i've long been eating closed mussels
from a plate of cooked ones
after forcing them open with a knife
and never died or had food poisoning
and they always tasted the same as the others
basically we've been wasting a lot of tasty harmless black mussels because...
you'll get to know when you read -={this}=-
26.6.10
Serial Killer: Eggs and Chips
salvatore mangion
a very ironic name
for someone who undid his safety through the unlikely act of eating
you know cos salvatore means savior
and mangion probably comes from the italian verb mangiare: to eat...
so...
salvu killed someone called francis caruana and attempted to kill his own sister in a separate incident
for this he serves time in jail
then one day he's joking to some inmate about how back in the prison free days he cold bloodedly murdered this old woman by stabbing her no less than 37 times for the measly sum of Lm200 about 466 euro
which he then spends on a single night of binge drinking and for paying a taxi to get him home
somehow the police get wind of this and get the story out of him
of how in 1986 he stalked rosina zammit
the victim
gained her confidence and played butcher's pinata with her so he could go out clubbing to shitty eighties music in the evening
skip 24 years and rosina's memory is avenged
by the cunning use of a pack of cigarettes and a plate of eggs and chips
i read this story
as i m sure some of you may have on the times this tuesday
and i ve been thinking of eggs and chips all week
and i knew all week that come saturday morning i would cook anthony bourdain's recipe to the french fries he praises so much
that i did and i fried some eggs in butter for the serial killer effect
in short borudain's method involves cutting the potatoes thinly, putting them in ice cold water, blanching them then frying them on high heat in peanut oil
i didn't peel my potatoes
cos i like them that way
so that it helps my daily fibre intake
cos i like them that way
anyway here is the serial killer
eggs and chips
(and sausages, bread, salad and watermelon for dessert)
photos:
a very ironic name
for someone who undid his safety through the unlikely act of eating
you know cos salvatore means savior
and mangion probably comes from the italian verb mangiare: to eat...
so...
salvu killed someone called francis caruana and attempted to kill his own sister in a separate incident
for this he serves time in jail
then one day he's joking to some inmate about how back in the prison free days he cold bloodedly murdered this old woman by stabbing her no less than 37 times for the measly sum of Lm200 about 466 euro
which he then spends on a single night of binge drinking and for paying a taxi to get him home
somehow the police get wind of this and get the story out of him
of how in 1986 he stalked rosina zammit
the victim
gained her confidence and played butcher's pinata with her so he could go out clubbing to shitty eighties music in the evening
skip 24 years and rosina's memory is avenged
by the cunning use of a pack of cigarettes and a plate of eggs and chips
i read this story
as i m sure some of you may have on the times this tuesday
and i ve been thinking of eggs and chips all week
and i knew all week that come saturday morning i would cook anthony bourdain's recipe to the french fries he praises so much
that i did and i fried some eggs in butter for the serial killer effect
in short borudain's method involves cutting the potatoes thinly, putting them in ice cold water, blanching them then frying them on high heat in peanut oil
i didn't peel my potatoes
cos i like them that way
so that it helps my daily fibre intake
cos i like them that way
anyway here is the serial killer
eggs and chips
(and sausages, bread, salad and watermelon for dessert)
photos:
4.4.10
if i could have one superpower, it would be the ability to fix bad food
not true of course
because if i really had to choose
a superpower i would pick something more dangerous like rapid healing, super-strength or laser sight
or actually a good superpower would be to have all the extra calories i eat make people i dislike get fat
rather than myself
immortality would be sweet as well...
-departing from flights of fancy and returning to my computer desk to give you this story
The Glen Who Saved Easter Mint Sauce
I press a lot of buttons
and finger-tap away.
A story of Easter
of wonderment and play.
After partying slightly
Easter Sunday I wake.
Sober but lazy
Lunch.
Lunch.
Lunch.
Make! Make! Make!
if this is sounding like a dr seuss book
you haven't read
its because that was my intention
if not
(and this is where i shoot myself in the foot)
it is because i have poor creative writing skills
or
(and this is where i patronize you)
because you aren't well read in children books
i'm trying to make out a story out of nothing
nothing so great happened
really
but i did fix an otherwise spoilt mint sauce
and i like giving myself credit
even when i'm not so due
i m living in a house
away from my parents
with two housemates
the word "housemates" is an important delineation device
it attempts to mask the described constituents into gender-neutral subjects
although if i was living with two girls i would have probably made that quite clear from the start and avoided all the stealthy-wordy-sneakiness
so maybe i should stop treating you
my readers
so condescendingly
because you're ahead of me already
and so
here it is
crux-o-the-matter:
quick question...
its an easter sunday morning
you live close to church
and you need to improvise malt vinegar for a mint sauce
what do you do?
the back-story to this
is that we went to a party where we didn't party much
but one of us
let's call him mark
(the name is fictitious because.......
right!
that's what i wrote and then i closed the browser window
where all the wordy magic happens
and i forgot about this blog post
it was easter and months have passed now
it's almost summer
and today i'm here to put an end to my digression and forge ahead the beautiful story of the lamb mint sauce
where was i?!
yeah
..........his name is fictitious for reasons... i have now forgotten
two months have passed
i don't know what i was blabbing about then and i seem to have misplaced that train of thought
i hope you're ready for the end of the story because it will soon be upon you
i cooked lamb back ribs
in the oven from a recipe
from the larousse gastronomique
apparently this was a blatant lie
mark actually cooked the ribs not me
then mark amongst other things had to prepare a mint sauce from a recipe he found online
and it came very vinegary and bad tasting
this happened because he substituted regular white vinegar for malt vinegar and because he trusted a untrustworthy source on the internet
we where also very hungover from the shit we poured into ourselves the night before
anyway
mark went to back to bed
so there i was in my new house and kitchen on easter sunday with bad acidic mint sauce
and only an hour to fix it
i made myself some bovril
and undid most of the hangover with one fell swoop
(i m sure this last part is a complete fabrication, but it adds to the story
memory can be a very creative thing!!)
once my heavy-headedness subsided and my powers restored i reached into the far depths of the secret culinary-mischievousness lobe of my brain
and in the darkness of the darkest of the caverns of the psyche
i battled the Monster of Chef's Block!
a duel of epic proportions and it lasted a good four minutes
as i slayed the beast of creative-apathy...
as it lay dying in agony
it used up its last energies by pointing to the Inner Sanctum of Enlightened Taste
and there it was
clear before me...
the sauce was vinegary
that was bad
the sauce was minty
that was good
the original sauce recipe included malt vinegar
an added malty taste to the sauce would bring out its minty acidity and make a beautiful accompaniment to lamb
browned on the outside with gradient of inner pink core
where could i get malt on an easter sunday morning???
...then the stroke of humble genius
i left the house and headed to the village square
on the way there
a well built middle aged man in full period roman centurion garb approached me
that would be a mindfuck anywhere else but malta during holy week
there and then this indicated that the easter sunday procession was over
and that lunchtime was soon upon us
i hurried to the labour party band club bar
and bought myself 8 packets of...
MALTESERS!!!!
hehe yeah that's how!
and then i went back home
chucked the maltesers in the freezer
then i drained the vinegar from the sauce and cooked it in a little water
took out the maltesers
cracked the frozen milk chocolate shells and kept the malty balls inside
these i crushed
and added to the sauce
till they melted....
the rest is history
because if i really had to choose
a superpower i would pick something more dangerous like rapid healing, super-strength or laser sight
or actually a good superpower would be to have all the extra calories i eat make people i dislike get fat
rather than myself
immortality would be sweet as well...
-departing from flights of fancy and returning to my computer desk to give you this story
The Glen Who Saved Easter Mint Sauce
I press a lot of buttons
and finger-tap away.
A story of Easter
of wonderment and play.
After partying slightly
Easter Sunday I wake.
Sober but lazy
Lunch.
Lunch.
Lunch.
Make! Make! Make!
if this is sounding like a dr seuss book
you haven't read
its because that was my intention
if not
(and this is where i shoot myself in the foot)
it is because i have poor creative writing skills
or
(and this is where i patronize you)
because you aren't well read in children books
i'm trying to make out a story out of nothing
nothing so great happened
really
but i did fix an otherwise spoilt mint sauce
and i like giving myself credit
even when i'm not so due
i m living in a house
away from my parents
with two housemates
the word "housemates" is an important delineation device
it attempts to mask the described constituents into gender-neutral subjects
although if i was living with two girls i would have probably made that quite clear from the start and avoided all the stealthy-wordy-sneakiness
so maybe i should stop treating you
my readers
so condescendingly
because you're ahead of me already
and so
here it is
crux-o-the-matter:
quick question...
its an easter sunday morning
you live close to church
and you need to improvise malt vinegar for a mint sauce
what do you do?
the back-story to this
is that we went to a party where we didn't party much
but one of us
let's call him mark
(the name is fictitious because.......
right!
that's what i wrote and then i closed the browser window
where all the wordy magic happens
and i forgot about this blog post
it was easter and months have passed now
it's almost summer
and today i'm here to put an end to my digression and forge ahead the beautiful story of the lamb mint sauce
where was i?!
yeah
..........his name is fictitious for reasons... i have now forgotten
two months have passed
i don't know what i was blabbing about then and i seem to have misplaced that train of thought
i hope you're ready for the end of the story because it will soon be upon you
i cooked lamb back ribs
in the oven from a recipe
from the larousse gastronomique
apparently this was a blatant lie
mark actually cooked the ribs not me
then mark amongst other things had to prepare a mint sauce from a recipe he found online
and it came very vinegary and bad tasting
this happened because he substituted regular white vinegar for malt vinegar and because he trusted a untrustworthy source on the internet
we where also very hungover from the shit we poured into ourselves the night before
anyway
mark went to back to bed
so there i was in my new house and kitchen on easter sunday with bad acidic mint sauce
and only an hour to fix it
i made myself some bovril
and undid most of the hangover with one fell swoop
(i m sure this last part is a complete fabrication, but it adds to the story
memory can be a very creative thing!!)
once my heavy-headedness subsided and my powers restored i reached into the far depths of the secret culinary-mischievousness lobe of my brain
and in the darkness of the darkest of the caverns of the psyche
i battled the Monster of Chef's Block!
a duel of epic proportions and it lasted a good four minutes
as i slayed the beast of creative-apathy...
as it lay dying in agony
it used up its last energies by pointing to the Inner Sanctum of Enlightened Taste
and there it was
clear before me...
the sauce was vinegary
that was bad
the sauce was minty
that was good
the original sauce recipe included malt vinegar
an added malty taste to the sauce would bring out its minty acidity and make a beautiful accompaniment to lamb
browned on the outside with gradient of inner pink core
where could i get malt on an easter sunday morning???
...then the stroke of humble genius
i left the house and headed to the village square
on the way there
a well built middle aged man in full period roman centurion garb approached me
that would be a mindfuck anywhere else but malta during holy week
there and then this indicated that the easter sunday procession was over
and that lunchtime was soon upon us
i hurried to the labour party band club bar
and bought myself 8 packets of...
MALTESERS!!!!
hehe yeah that's how!
and then i went back home
chucked the maltesers in the freezer
then i drained the vinegar from the sauce and cooked it in a little water
took out the maltesers
cracked the frozen milk chocolate shells and kept the malty balls inside
these i crushed
and added to the sauce
till they melted....
the rest is history
13.3.10
Sourdough
i took a break from living my after office-life in the vivid and oh-so-wonderful world of call of duty 4
and together with some friends i attended a seminar on bread and pizza dough making
organised at palazzo santa rosa
by claude camilleri
the one of margo's
showcasing the exploits of his new pizzaiolo giovanni
didnt actually learn to make the dough nor the pizza hands on
but probably that was a good thing seeing as it was a friday evening
we did get to experience even better things probably
a lot of passionate talking about bread and pizza
and a lot of tasting
overall the outing as an experience in itself
was even more so vivid than call of duty 4
heheh
we got to taste everything
from their house-made doughs to their house-smoked pork
cooked pizzas
and also
this buffalo mozzarella acquired from some obscure village in italy
giovanni's lifetime experience has brought him to boldly claim that there is no better mozzarella than this one
.
.
.
wait for it...
"...in the whole world!"
this was one of the few times i heard this cliché phrase uttered so genuinely
i forgot what the name of the village or the mozzarella brand was
so far as i could tell it was the best mozzarella i ever tasted
anywhat
when we got there they immediately started talking about bread
they skipped the how-to's and the step-by-stepping
instead they made us taste everything
even the raw pastry
some from the audience including myself at different points tried to venture a question as to the flour to the water ratios...
all we got were cryptic:
"it depends on the weather...
...the humidity...
...the water..."
...
luckily the world we live in has a google backbone
and since i really wanted to make and bake my own sourdough bread...
i m now using these guidelines
they seem pretty easy to follow
and i hope that one day i will get to the level where i can gauge what ratios to use by acquiring a tiny bit of the experiential knack that giovanni seems to have
margo's pizza!
better than before
that's for sure
the other times i went
there was no qualm as to the truthfulness of the ingredients
and it definitely was a superb pizza
however those two times the base wasn't consistent
the first time it was fluffy and light
second time it was crunchier and fuller
this time the base was a wholesome crunchy piece of cereal perfection
both the wholemeal base (a new addition) and the mostly white-flour base allowed for the toppings to shine even more than the other two times
maybe it is the lack of yeast in the whole process
maybe its the loving care that giovanni gives to the doughs and to the actual pizza making
claude said that some italians told him that the best pizza in italy was to be found in malta at his margo's
i m not going to dispute or agree with anything
all i know is that claude's vision of bringing out the best out of the pizza
is surely happening down there in mistra bay
in addition to the office, the pool, and sniping terrorists
i am now also adding sourdough making to my eventful life
using the guidelines from that link and the inspiration from giovanni and claude
i sure like the idea of having a 'pet' in the fridge that i have to feed every know and again
of course enzymes are not as cuddly or friendly as dogs...
but i'll see where this goes
i m going to be expermenting with sourdough wholemeal bread making
claude and giovanni want to push the wholemeal stuff more
as they believe that this is the only way to get back to tradition and to healthier bread eating
and they have eliminated yeast completely from the process
i hate sounding like a marketeering fuckhead
but if you go to margo's you can now order wholemeal pizzas
which are not simply there for those healthy and conscious diners
going through some carb-concious fad
but is part of an improved artisan menu
and is closest to how people ate pizzas and breads before hitler failed miserably at conquering the world
sourdough yeast-free making and baking is a lengthier process
than the usual bread making with white flours and packaged yeast
it takes days to get good dough
and apparently although we know the maltese loaf as sourdough
it appears that along the way
the tradition of culturing a starter has been dropped in favor of using yeast as a separate ingredient
at the seminar they gave us 20 day old bread to taste
and although hard as rock
the original tastes where still present
it would be perfect for making bread puddings, maltese arioli, or pappa sauce
i used to think that the fact that bread stales and rots after a few days was a good thing
(as opposed to factory produced sliced bread that sometimes lasts weeks)
was completely wrong
the added yeast makes bread keep on fermenting at a faster rate
spoiling it within hours or days
off to teach my new pet some tricks
the end
and together with some friends i attended a seminar on bread and pizza dough making
organised at palazzo santa rosa
by claude camilleri
the one of margo's
showcasing the exploits of his new pizzaiolo giovanni
didnt actually learn to make the dough nor the pizza hands on
but probably that was a good thing seeing as it was a friday evening
we did get to experience even better things probably
a lot of passionate talking about bread and pizza
and a lot of tasting
overall the outing as an experience in itself
was even more so vivid than call of duty 4
heheh
we got to taste everything
from their house-made doughs to their house-smoked pork
cooked pizzas
and also
this buffalo mozzarella acquired from some obscure village in italy
giovanni's lifetime experience has brought him to boldly claim that there is no better mozzarella than this one
.
.
.
wait for it...
"...in the whole world!"
this was one of the few times i heard this cliché phrase uttered so genuinely
i forgot what the name of the village or the mozzarella brand was
so far as i could tell it was the best mozzarella i ever tasted
anywhat
when we got there they immediately started talking about bread
they skipped the how-to's and the step-by-stepping
instead they made us taste everything
even the raw pastry
some from the audience including myself at different points tried to venture a question as to the flour to the water ratios...
all we got were cryptic:
"it depends on the weather...
...the humidity...
...the water..."
...
luckily the world we live in has a google backbone
and since i really wanted to make and bake my own sourdough bread...
i m now using these guidelines
they seem pretty easy to follow
and i hope that one day i will get to the level where i can gauge what ratios to use by acquiring a tiny bit of the experiential knack that giovanni seems to have
margo's pizza!
better than before
that's for sure
the other times i went
there was no qualm as to the truthfulness of the ingredients
and it definitely was a superb pizza
however those two times the base wasn't consistent
the first time it was fluffy and light
second time it was crunchier and fuller
this time the base was a wholesome crunchy piece of cereal perfection
both the wholemeal base (a new addition) and the mostly white-flour base allowed for the toppings to shine even more than the other two times
maybe it is the lack of yeast in the whole process
maybe its the loving care that giovanni gives to the doughs and to the actual pizza making
claude said that some italians told him that the best pizza in italy was to be found in malta at his margo's
i m not going to dispute or agree with anything
all i know is that claude's vision of bringing out the best out of the pizza
is surely happening down there in mistra bay
in addition to the office, the pool, and sniping terrorists
i am now also adding sourdough making to my eventful life
using the guidelines from that link and the inspiration from giovanni and claude
i sure like the idea of having a 'pet' in the fridge that i have to feed every know and again
of course enzymes are not as cuddly or friendly as dogs...
but i'll see where this goes
i m going to be expermenting with sourdough wholemeal bread making
claude and giovanni want to push the wholemeal stuff more
as they believe that this is the only way to get back to tradition and to healthier bread eating
and they have eliminated yeast completely from the process
i hate sounding like a marketeering fuckhead
but if you go to margo's you can now order wholemeal pizzas
which are not simply there for those healthy and conscious diners
going through some carb-concious fad
but is part of an improved artisan menu
and is closest to how people ate pizzas and breads before hitler failed miserably at conquering the world
sourdough yeast-free making and baking is a lengthier process
than the usual bread making with white flours and packaged yeast
it takes days to get good dough
and apparently although we know the maltese loaf as sourdough
it appears that along the way
the tradition of culturing a starter has been dropped in favor of using yeast as a separate ingredient
at the seminar they gave us 20 day old bread to taste
and although hard as rock
the original tastes where still present
it would be perfect for making bread puddings, maltese arioli, or pappa sauce
i used to think that the fact that bread stales and rots after a few days was a good thing
(as opposed to factory produced sliced bread that sometimes lasts weeks)
was completely wrong
the added yeast makes bread keep on fermenting at a faster rate
spoiling it within hours or days
off to teach my new pet some tricks
the end
9.3.10
Lindt Sprungli - Excellence 99%
i tried this 99% pure chocolate
from lindt
the short story is that i now think that any other dark chocolate with less percentage is exclusively for pussies
long story is that an earthquake of pleasure erupted in my mouth unleashing a dark magma of joyful bitterness that took over and fucked my taste-buds senseless
at least that was the first time i tasted it
now i eat it because not to eat doesn't feel right
me and lindt's 99% excellence
had love at first melt
chances are you won't like it
i ve evangalised around a bit
about it
some have liked it and most have not
it might be an acquired taste for some
for me it was a case of seeing the light and becoming an instant believer
lindt suggest that you don't eat it alone
that it should be an accompaniment to other tastes
i accompany it with more of itself to be honest
cos my taste buds are hardy that way
i also don't mind eating spoonfuls of marmite/vegemite and can eat the most horrible of foods
but then i can't stand wasabi and i can't inhale tobacco smoke for a long time
(despite my efforts to kick start the vice at the tender age of ten)
i'm also not a big fan of red hot chili peppers
(the capsicum, i quite like some of the band's stuff)
taste-buds can be a bitch of a thing
comment when or if you've tried it
from lindt
the short story is that i now think that any other dark chocolate with less percentage is exclusively for pussies
long story is that an earthquake of pleasure erupted in my mouth unleashing a dark magma of joyful bitterness that took over and fucked my taste-buds senseless
at least that was the first time i tasted it
now i eat it because not to eat doesn't feel right
me and lindt's 99% excellence
had love at first melt
chances are you won't like it
i ve evangalised around a bit
about it
some have liked it and most have not
it might be an acquired taste for some
for me it was a case of seeing the light and becoming an instant believer
lindt suggest that you don't eat it alone
that it should be an accompaniment to other tastes
i accompany it with more of itself to be honest
cos my taste buds are hardy that way
i also don't mind eating spoonfuls of marmite/vegemite and can eat the most horrible of foods
but then i can't stand wasabi and i can't inhale tobacco smoke for a long time
(despite my efforts to kick start the vice at the tender age of ten)
i'm also not a big fan of red hot chili peppers
(the capsicum, i quite like some of the band's stuff)
taste-buds can be a bitch of a thing
comment when or if you've tried it
3.8.09
Glen's Top 100 Food Experiences
this will exist in a process of flux, revision and update
the number one food item at the bottom of the list is the one food item i would choose if i was held at gunpoint and asked to pick just one favorite
second place goes to another food item which if i was held at gunpoint i would put as a second place and so on up to the hundredth mark
i tried to put the items in their order of preference as much as possible
but of course a lot of the work was instinctive
a lot will be revised eventually
feel free to fire away with all your qualms and disagreements
the countdown starts here
100 Chewing on broken pieces of cinnamon stick
99 Bebbux (snails) in broth or in stew
98 Master's milkshake with cold milk, flavours: strawberry, sensation, and banana.
97 Frutie Blue Ice Lolly
96 Ftira fresh from the baker, spread with butter and processed sliced cheese that melts from the residual heat of the baker's oven
95 Eggs benedict with a perfect poached egg
94 Tomato jam as eaten in barcelona
93 Corned beef and squeezed lemon on maltese bread wih kunserva and olive oil, eaten in a field under the hot sun during the 10 o clock tea break on a grape picking August day followed with some tea from Nanna's Thermos consumed with family members this meal is at its simplest and poorest but is of great nostalgic importance to me.
92 Mixed bean salad, with garlic etc a la George Mateljan from whfoods.com
91 Cappellini with butter and powdered pepper (Tarja)
90 Cold orzata (almond drink) on a hot summer's day from a valetta stall
89 Fresh lampuki coated in flour and fried, sprinkled with lemon juice and olive oil
88 Margo's smoked Amalfi Sausage
87 French Onion Soup with toasted Gruyere on a large floating crouton on top
86 Carribean Goat Curry
85 Kimchee (a korean cabbage spicy pickle) with warm steamed rice. A true acquired taste. This thing is foul tasting to the unitiated.
84 Pumpkin and Orange Soup
83 Fried chicken with maple syrup. (Or as i experienced it Canteen Japanese Karage with Maple Syrup from Quebec as suggested by a French Canadian friend.)
82 Soggy Corn Flakes, after they are left to sit for a few minutes in lukewarm milk
81 Crepe with crushed biscuits, MnMs and nutella, yes i am a a pig!
80 King prawns esp. crushing their heads under my teeth and sucking the goodness
79 Cinnamon Grahams, and Golden Grahams with milk.
78 Stilton with cranberries
77 Kerrygold Dubliner Cheese
76 Cold latte di mandorla
75 Skittles
74 Wild Boar Ham
73 Frozen black grapes (esp Merlot as those
are the one i have most access to, eaten frozen)
72 Kukicha green tea, after a meal
71 Kwarezimal from Martin il-Furnar San
gwann, they get them from someone else but they're the best kwarezimal i've ever tasted, no real sacrifice if you're eating this. 2nd best so far is Sapori Siciliani's
70 Two or Three McDonalds Burgers (plain) eaten consecutively. I feel all you anti-McDonalds boycotters stirring in your chairs. This is the burger that made McDonalds the Empire that it is today, i love this recipe, soft small bun, pickle in the middle .... I eat three, i buy no fries, no coke, and savour them one after the other knowing that if there is a food-Hell i m going to it for sure.
69 Pumpkin and Sage soup
68 A good earl grey
67 The whole ordeal of smuggling up Ftajjar biz-zejt on Ryan Air flights (or other low cost airlines where food isn't served). For me and for those traveling with me, prepared from fresh bread with a good mix of fresh herbs, kunserva, feta cheese, tuna, onions...in other words fragrant as fuck. This is awesome because you get the other passengers and the flight crew jealous, especially once that smell hits the air and stays there for quite a while.
66 Grill closed toast, made from Maltese bread with a filling of olives, onions and cheddar, then buttered from the outside.
65 Apple Pie a la Mode with Ice cream on top, this depends on the greatness of the pie and it usually is better if the ice cream is an unusual flavour eg. Creme caramel/Whiskey
64 A good Zeppolla, deep fried chou pastry filled with a ricotta cream and drizzled with honey. I d suggest Sapori Siciliani, San Gwann.
63 Toasted maltese bread with kerrygold butter
62 Sliced fresh peaches in a lettuce based salad
61 Baba Ganoush
60 Emperor of India' s, (St. Julians) chicken korma
59 Muscat Pastizzeria's plain pizza
58 Home made summer iced drink made from pressed prickly pear juice, kukicha green tea and lime.
57 Pizza Marinara after snorkeling and free diving. That's when my taste buds have been marinating in sea water for a good hour, and i m semi-high on deep breathing and excercise-endorphins. Prepared with decent seafood ingredients and WITH mozzarella, no matter what the rest of the world advise and say, i will send the motherfucking cheese-less pizza back if i get no mozzarella on it, no matter what your scrupulous pizzaiolo thinks!
56 Leftover refrigerated Minestra, eaten chilled esp. for breakfast in summer. Dont ask just try it if you're curious.
55 Skittles, Sour (green packet
54 A good old commercially bought, red
frankfurter. Don't know why but they're good.
53 Pumpkin and bacon soup
52 Cool black grapes snatched from a vine in the early morning before harvest, and eaten by direct biting into the bunch as if it was some chicken drumstick or something. What's special about this is that it beats any breakfast.Though it is summer and even the morning is warm, the grapes have endured the coldness of the night and are watery clean from the night's dew. That coupled with the knowledge that the rest of the day is going to be a load of hard-ass, sun-toiling, grape-picking hell makesthat very first cold bunch a special one.
51 Sliced Lamb Heart, shallow fried, then cooked in a quick reduction of Nero d'Avola
50 Nanna's Arioli recipe
49 Lobster liver
48 Victorian Date, Banana and Whiskey Chutney
47 Fire roasted sweet-potato, wrapped in foil, buttered
46 Extra virgin olive oil, locally pressed bought or somehow begotten from local farmers, so rich it verges on the pungent
45 Rabbit and Leek Pie, as eaten in some pub in Lewes
44 Suckling Pig, spit-roasted over Vine Twig cuttings for many hours.
43 Kinder Cereali (and an equal standing to Bueno and those fingers with the kid on the front)
42 Chocolate cheesecake made with Bourbon or Ovaltine biscuit base)
41 Nesquik Wafer... ahh that milky interior.
40 Belgian chocolate and orange cake as served at Xlukkajr (rest of the meal was unimpressive at most but this item was beautiful)
39 Lavender Ice cream
38 Fiorino d Oro's original owners' Cozze Pepate, (peppered mussels)
37 Maria Bonnici's Figolla, the plainest and simplest figolla i have ever seen, whenit comes to decor, some years have passed since i tasted that and i am sure its the best one i've tasted ever.
36 Fresh Figs wrapped in bacon and cooked slightly
35 Lamb back strap, cured with salt and pepper and roasted medium rare.
34 Coffee sweet gateaux
33 Macha (Green Tea) Ice Cream
32 Chicken Liver reduced in pomegranate sauce as made by Hani of Ali Baba fame.
31 Boiled Maltese Sausage or grilled
30 Good Miso soup used to wash down steamed Japanese rice
29 Averna on ice
28 Toasted bread (french loaf slice) with butter, ham and cheese, accompanied with English breakfast tea (Lion tea, Te tal-iljun) one sugar and with canned evaporated milk), with the occasional dipping. Usually this, I will do at Xufi's Mosta or Titu's San Gwann. I get a lot of stares when i do this.I hate you fuckin food snobs whatever social strata you come from!
27 Ravioli with butter and sage
26 Margo's Smoked Pancetta Whole-Meal
Sourdough Pizza as of March 2010
25 Fried or stewed rabbit, the best so far is between Sunny's in Mgarr, Gambin in Fleur de Lys (Kazin PN) or Ta' Fotti, Rabat(Bar is called Golded Lion)
24 University's and Tattinger's Sandro's Hot dogs, nobody nails a hot dog like Sandro, i don't know where he can be found nowadays. Disclaimer: i dont go to tattingers to party, though if im close to the area i check if Sandro is around
23 Raw peach parfait, made with raw almonds, pecans, and peaches
22 Hobz biz-zejt after a swim eaten by the sea, under the hot sun, with fresh tomatoes and herbs, rock salt and other stuff.
21 Refrigerated Maltese honeycomb soaked in the oozing golden goo. Found by surprise at my grandparent's fridge, the stuff was from an uncle's beehive.
20 A fresh raw oyster with a squeeze of lemon eaten as breakfast
19 Rizzi (sea urchin) with pasta.(on equal standing with Uni Sushi (sea urchin sushi))
18 Gbejna friska with rock salt and fresh basil
17 Heston Blumenthal's Caviar on White Chocolate
16 Venison burger with cranberry sauce
15 Portobello mushroom cross-sectioned, briefly fried in olive oil and butter on its head then topped with a light Gorgonzola sauce, sandwiched with its top and oven-ed for several minutes.
14 Wood barbequed Gurbell(Meagre), with fresh peach pulp sauce
13 Cold kinnie on a hot summer day
12 Lindt's 99% excellence pure chocolate
11 Maxibon ice cream sandwich (du gust is meglio che one) but i m not too fond of the stracciatella part the other part is what put this item at number 11
10 Fork-Mashed Strawberries doused with evaporated milk, and a sprinkling of hand-crushed salty crackers. This is not only a nostalgic quick snack my Nanna used to make for me as a kid so it brings back fond memories, but also my first concious encounter of sweetness and saltiness put together in one food.
9 Sapori Siciliana's (San Gwann) Maltese blackberry granita (made from real fruit)
8 Algida Cucciolone Prezzemolo Ice cream sandwich of malt biscuit with 3 adjacent layers of Vanilla, chocolate and Zabaione(a cream made from eggs, sugar and wine)
7 Fiorentina T-bone steak, eaten Fiorino d' Oro a couple years ago
6 Xmas Roast Turkey Breast stuffed as a roll with a filling of Rabbit Liver (battered in flour and ground cumin, fried in butter) and Roasted Pecans. The roll is roasted and basted in a blood orange sauce and spring onions for several hours.The one creation i truly impressed myself with (along with a dozen other diners i hope)
5 Cordial's (Cyrille's, Valletta) Argentinian Angus Fillet, cooked a la Tournedos Rossini (foie gras on top big crouton on the bottom swimming in foie gras sauce), at least the one i ate in November of 2008, the one i ate a year later was not as great somehow or another.
4 A summer's first sweet-cold, blood-red watermelon after a winter of abstinence.
3 Iberico Ham, i dont know exatly what the name was but i ate it at a great restaurant called Sta. Catarina in Barcelona.
2 Sweet Maltese summer peaches esp. cold, the thinly haired ones as big as your fist
1 Frozen Nutella Packets, i don't know where i got this idea from but i was about 11 years old and it was my first creative breakthrough. Not saying i invented this, but it must be my favorite thing ever.
this compilation of items has been going on for several months
adding bits as i go
it is 1:15 in the morning on a thursday night and i have work in a few hours
it feels like i put myself through a foodie-exorcism
the number one food item at the bottom of the list is the one food item i would choose if i was held at gunpoint and asked to pick just one favorite
second place goes to another food item which if i was held at gunpoint i would put as a second place and so on up to the hundredth mark
i tried to put the items in their order of preference as much as possible
but of course a lot of the work was instinctive
a lot will be revised eventually
feel free to fire away with all your qualms and disagreements
the countdown starts here
100 Chewing on broken pieces of cinnamon stick
99 Bebbux (snails) in broth or in stew
98 Master's milkshake with cold milk, flavours: strawberry, sensation, and banana.
97 Frutie Blue Ice Lolly
96 Ftira fresh from the baker, spread with butter and processed sliced cheese that melts from the residual heat of the baker's oven
95 Eggs benedict with a perfect poached egg
94 Tomato jam as eaten in barcelona
93 Corned beef and squeezed lemon on maltese bread wih kunserva and olive oil, eaten in a field under the hot sun during the 10 o clock tea break on a grape picking August day followed with some tea from Nanna's Thermos consumed with family members this meal is at its simplest and poorest but is of great nostalgic importance to me.
92 Mixed bean salad, with garlic etc a la George Mateljan from whfoods.com
91 Cappellini with butter and powdered pepper (Tarja)
90 Cold orzata (almond drink) on a hot summer's day from a valetta stall
89 Fresh lampuki coated in flour and fried, sprinkled with lemon juice and olive oil
88 Margo's smoked Amalfi Sausage
87 French Onion Soup with toasted Gruyere on a large floating crouton on top
86 Carribean Goat Curry
85 Kimchee (a korean cabbage spicy pickle) with warm steamed rice. A true acquired taste. This thing is foul tasting to the unitiated.
84 Pumpkin and Orange Soup
83 Fried chicken with maple syrup. (Or as i experienced it Canteen Japanese Karage with Maple Syrup from Quebec as suggested by a French Canadian friend.)
82 Soggy Corn Flakes, after they are left to sit for a few minutes in lukewarm milk
81 Crepe with crushed biscuits, MnMs and nutella, yes i am a a pig!
80 King prawns esp. crushing their heads under my teeth and sucking the goodness
79 Cinnamon Grahams, and Golden Grahams with milk.
78 Stilton with cranberries
77 Kerrygold Dubliner Cheese
76 Cold latte di mandorla
75 Skittles
74 Wild Boar Ham
73 Frozen black grapes (esp Merlot as those
are the one i have most access to, eaten frozen)
72 Kukicha green tea, after a meal
71 Kwarezimal from Martin il-Furnar San
gwann, they get them from someone else but they're the best kwarezimal i've ever tasted, no real sacrifice if you're eating this. 2nd best so far is Sapori Siciliani's
70 Two or Three McDonalds Burgers (plain) eaten consecutively. I feel all you anti-McDonalds boycotters stirring in your chairs. This is the burger that made McDonalds the Empire that it is today, i love this recipe, soft small bun, pickle in the middle .... I eat three, i buy no fries, no coke, and savour them one after the other knowing that if there is a food-Hell i m going to it for sure.
69 Pumpkin and Sage soup
68 A good earl grey
67 The whole ordeal of smuggling up Ftajjar biz-zejt on Ryan Air flights (or other low cost airlines where food isn't served). For me and for those traveling with me, prepared from fresh bread with a good mix of fresh herbs, kunserva, feta cheese, tuna, onions...in other words fragrant as fuck. This is awesome because you get the other passengers and the flight crew jealous, especially once that smell hits the air and stays there for quite a while.
66 Grill closed toast, made from Maltese bread with a filling of olives, onions and cheddar, then buttered from the outside.
65 Apple Pie a la Mode with Ice cream on top, this depends on the greatness of the pie and it usually is better if the ice cream is an unusual flavour eg. Creme caramel/Whiskey
64 A good Zeppolla, deep fried chou pastry filled with a ricotta cream and drizzled with honey. I d suggest Sapori Siciliani, San Gwann.
63 Toasted maltese bread with kerrygold butter
62 Sliced fresh peaches in a lettuce based salad
61 Baba Ganoush
60 Emperor of India' s, (St. Julians) chicken korma
59 Muscat Pastizzeria's plain pizza
58 Home made summer iced drink made from pressed prickly pear juice, kukicha green tea and lime.
57 Pizza Marinara after snorkeling and free diving. That's when my taste buds have been marinating in sea water for a good hour, and i m semi-high on deep breathing and excercise-endorphins. Prepared with decent seafood ingredients and WITH mozzarella, no matter what the rest of the world advise and say, i will send the motherfucking cheese-less pizza back if i get no mozzarella on it, no matter what your scrupulous pizzaiolo thinks!
56 Leftover refrigerated Minestra, eaten chilled esp. for breakfast in summer. Dont ask just try it if you're curious.
55 Skittles, Sour (green packet
54 A good old commercially bought, red
frankfurter. Don't know why but they're good.
53 Pumpkin and bacon soup
52 Cool black grapes snatched from a vine in the early morning before harvest, and eaten by direct biting into the bunch as if it was some chicken drumstick or something. What's special about this is that it beats any breakfast.Though it is summer and even the morning is warm, the grapes have endured the coldness of the night and are watery clean from the night's dew. That coupled with the knowledge that the rest of the day is going to be a load of hard-ass, sun-toiling, grape-picking hell makesthat very first cold bunch a special one.
51 Sliced Lamb Heart, shallow fried, then cooked in a quick reduction of Nero d'Avola
50 Nanna's Arioli recipe
49 Lobster liver
48 Victorian Date, Banana and Whiskey Chutney
47 Fire roasted sweet-potato, wrapped in foil, buttered
46 Extra virgin olive oil, locally pressed bought or somehow begotten from local farmers, so rich it verges on the pungent
45 Rabbit and Leek Pie, as eaten in some pub in Lewes
44 Suckling Pig, spit-roasted over Vine Twig cuttings for many hours.
43 Kinder Cereali (and an equal standing to Bueno and those fingers with the kid on the front)
42 Chocolate cheesecake made with Bourbon or Ovaltine biscuit base)
41 Nesquik Wafer... ahh that milky interior.
40 Belgian chocolate and orange cake as served at Xlukkajr (rest of the meal was unimpressive at most but this item was beautiful)
39 Lavender Ice cream
38 Fiorino d Oro's original owners' Cozze Pepate, (peppered mussels)
37 Maria Bonnici's Figolla, the plainest and simplest figolla i have ever seen, whenit comes to decor, some years have passed since i tasted that and i am sure its the best one i've tasted ever.
36 Fresh Figs wrapped in bacon and cooked slightly
35 Lamb back strap, cured with salt and pepper and roasted medium rare.
34 Coffee sweet gateaux
33 Macha (Green Tea) Ice Cream
32 Chicken Liver reduced in pomegranate sauce as made by Hani of Ali Baba fame.
31 Boiled Maltese Sausage or grilled
30 Good Miso soup used to wash down steamed Japanese rice
29 Averna on ice
28 Toasted bread (french loaf slice) with butter, ham and cheese, accompanied with English breakfast tea (Lion tea, Te tal-iljun) one sugar and with canned evaporated milk), with the occasional dipping. Usually this, I will do at Xufi's Mosta or Titu's San Gwann. I get a lot of stares when i do this.I hate you fuckin food snobs whatever social strata you come from!
27 Ravioli with butter and sage
26 Margo's Smoked Pancetta Whole-Meal
Sourdough Pizza as of March 2010
25 Fried or stewed rabbit, the best so far is between Sunny's in Mgarr, Gambin in Fleur de Lys (Kazin PN) or Ta' Fotti, Rabat(Bar is called Golded Lion)
24 University's and Tattinger's Sandro's Hot dogs, nobody nails a hot dog like Sandro, i don't know where he can be found nowadays. Disclaimer: i dont go to tattingers to party, though if im close to the area i check if Sandro is around
23 Raw peach parfait, made with raw almonds, pecans, and peaches
22 Hobz biz-zejt after a swim eaten by the sea, under the hot sun, with fresh tomatoes and herbs, rock salt and other stuff.
21 Refrigerated Maltese honeycomb soaked in the oozing golden goo. Found by surprise at my grandparent's fridge, the stuff was from an uncle's beehive.
20 A fresh raw oyster with a squeeze of lemon eaten as breakfast
19 Rizzi (sea urchin) with pasta.(on equal standing with Uni Sushi (sea urchin sushi))
18 Gbejna friska with rock salt and fresh basil
17 Heston Blumenthal's Caviar on White Chocolate
16 Venison burger with cranberry sauce
15 Portobello mushroom cross-sectioned, briefly fried in olive oil and butter on its head then topped with a light Gorgonzola sauce, sandwiched with its top and oven-ed for several minutes.
14 Wood barbequed Gurbell(Meagre), with fresh peach pulp sauce
13 Cold kinnie on a hot summer day
12 Lindt's 99% excellence pure chocolate
11 Maxibon ice cream sandwich (du gust is meglio che one) but i m not too fond of the stracciatella part the other part is what put this item at number 11
10 Fork-Mashed Strawberries doused with evaporated milk, and a sprinkling of hand-crushed salty crackers. This is not only a nostalgic quick snack my Nanna used to make for me as a kid so it brings back fond memories, but also my first concious encounter of sweetness and saltiness put together in one food.
9 Sapori Siciliana's (San Gwann) Maltese blackberry granita (made from real fruit)
8 Algida Cucciolone Prezzemolo Ice cream sandwich of malt biscuit with 3 adjacent layers of Vanilla, chocolate and Zabaione(a cream made from eggs, sugar and wine)
7 Fiorentina T-bone steak, eaten Fiorino d' Oro a couple years ago
6 Xmas Roast Turkey Breast stuffed as a roll with a filling of Rabbit Liver (battered in flour and ground cumin, fried in butter) and Roasted Pecans. The roll is roasted and basted in a blood orange sauce and spring onions for several hours.The one creation i truly impressed myself with (along with a dozen other diners i hope)
5 Cordial's (Cyrille's, Valletta) Argentinian Angus Fillet, cooked a la Tournedos Rossini (foie gras on top big crouton on the bottom swimming in foie gras sauce), at least the one i ate in November of 2008, the one i ate a year later was not as great somehow or another.
4 A summer's first sweet-cold, blood-red watermelon after a winter of abstinence.
3 Iberico Ham, i dont know exatly what the name was but i ate it at a great restaurant called Sta. Catarina in Barcelona.
2 Sweet Maltese summer peaches esp. cold, the thinly haired ones as big as your fist
1 Frozen Nutella Packets, i don't know where i got this idea from but i was about 11 years old and it was my first creative breakthrough. Not saying i invented this, but it must be my favorite thing ever.
this compilation of items has been going on for several months
adding bits as i go
it is 1:15 in the morning on a thursday night and i have work in a few hours
it feels like i put myself through a foodie-exorcism
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